Navagating the Hospital System

My dad was in 3 different hospitals, the first because it was closest to his house where paramedics insisted he go, the 2nd his hospital of choice where I had him transferred, and the 3rd where he was suppose to have inpatient rehab, but ended up getting the flu and being hospitalized for that....

I had complaints daily, and big plans to write all these elaborate letters to those in charge. I never did write those letters and have long since forgotten half the things that pissed me off. The bottom line is, nothing is every going to be good enough, fast enough, or well delivered because you're most likely in shock with a side of denial and still have no idea what the hell is going on. But a few lessons from my temporary residency...

Doctors Aren't Fast
And bitching about it wont really do anything except stress you out more...They round when they round and it's not the same everyday.

Nurses are your Lifeline
Fortunately your nurses are pretty consistently the same few. Personally, I find them much smarter than doctors. They are in the field. If you need something, they are the ones that are going to get it for you. You're going to want to and probably will lash out at them, because they're on the front lines. And they are used to it, and can take it. But when you need the good coffee at 4 am after 4 nights of no sleep, being their friend pays off....

No One's Going to Tell You What you Want to Hear
The opposite quite frankly. When it's a stroke you're going to hear a lot of  "I don't know"s and "Only Time will Tell"s. And the truth is they really are clueless. It could be because everyone recovers different or it could be because the docs in hospital rarely see the patients after they're in rehab/home, I don't know - But no one would give us a straight answer on if/when/how my dad would improve. It's best this way, them not telling you, if they do- Just know they probably are full of shit.
One of the many neurologists my dad saw flat out told me this is probably how he's going to be the rest of his life. He happens to be the same neurologist we ended up with as his follow up doc. I enjoyed the look on his face when he saw my dad for the first time post hospital, stunned that he looked nearly normal (he wasn't, but was 100% better than he expected).

"Fall Risks"
First, Bed alarms don't work. Hospitals are understaffed and they will not get to your loved on in time if they are bound and determined to get out of that bed. My dad "escaped" a few times. I had slept in the hospital every night until the night I got the flu. I stayed away for 48 hours so as to not give him the flu (which didn't work) and the first night he managed to get out of bed. They got to him before any falling happened fortunately, the 2nd time wasn't so lucky. He wanted to get up so they got him up into a wheelchair with a chair alarm and put him at the nurses station. She walked away for 1 second and up - down he went. Smacked his face straight into the floor, cut his eye up pretty good and delayed rehab even longer....  The best solution we came up with for when I couldn't sleep there was keeping the foot of bed high so that it wasn't so easy for him to wiggle out in his weak state, and line chairs up around the bed that would be in his way.

Don't Allow Restraints
While it seem convenient at the time, we were turned down by our top 3 rehab choices because restraints had to be used in the hospital (it goes in their chart) and ended up with a sub par piece of junk rehab which I do believe delayed my dads "recovery" significantly. If you can find a way to manage them without restraints, do it. Even the stupid mits to stop them from pulling out feeding tubes count as restraints....Having a hospital "sitter" come in to watch them counts as a restraint. No joke...

Social Workers are of No HelpUnless I just got really bad ones (had 3) I don't know what their function is.... I was told they would help me with filing for disability - They didn't know anything about it. Was told they would help me find resources to help with him, they didn't. All they did was push me into making decisions to get him out of the hospital...... The only social worker that has ever been helpful is the one he has in his outpatient rehab facility.

 In some ways - The internet can be your worse nightmare in these situations, but at the same time, it might be your only resource. Never accept one opinion, find out what else is out there.